Bedtime can often be a stressful time for both parents and children. Many families attempt to establish a sleep schedule or bedtime routine, only to find that it doesn’t work as planned. If you’ve been in this situation, you’re not alone. But why do some sleep schedules fail, and what can be done to fix them? Let’s explore some common reasons and actionable strategies to help make bedtime smoother for everyone.
Why Do Sleep Schedules Fail?
A few factors could be contributing to the challenges you’re facing. First and foremost, don’t be too hard on yourself as a parent. Sleep routines can be tricky to implement and even harder to maintain consistently. However, consistency is key when it comes to bedtime success.
Ask yourself: Are you starting the routine at the same time each night? Are you following the same steps in the same order? If not, this could be part of the issue. To reset, choose a routine that works well for your family and commit to being consistent with it.
What If I’m Doing Everything Right and It’s Still Not Working?
Even with consistency, bedtime routines may still falter. In these cases, additional support may be needed, such as incorporating positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement involves rewarding desired behaviors with something your child enjoys, which increases the likelihood that those behaviors will occur again in the future (Cooper, Heron, & Heward, 2007).
Here are some tips for using positive reinforcement effectively:
- Choose an appropriate reinforcer: This could be reading a favorite book, singing a lullaby, or offering a high five. Avoid highly stimulating rewards like screen time or TV.
- Decide when to give reinforcement: Will it be after each step of the routine or only at the end? Tailor this based on where your child struggles most.
- For example, if brushing teeth is consistently difficult, offer reinforcement specifically for completing that step calmly.
- If resistance occurs at every stage of the routine, consider reinforcing each step individually.
- If getting into bed is the main challenge, tie the reward to that final step—such as an extra five minutes of cuddling or reading their favorite bedtime story.
Addressing Nighttime Challenges: Staying in Bed
If your child struggles with staying in bed or frequently gets up during the night, consider offering reinforcement tied to morning rewards. For example:
- If they stay in their room all night, they could earn an extra treat at breakfast or watch their favorite TV show in the morning.
- For children who get out of bed multiple times before falling asleep, start small. Set a realistic goal based on their current behavior. For instance:
- If they typically get up four times before sleeping, aim for three times initially.
- Once they consistently meet this goal, gradually reduce it to two times, then one time, and eventually none.
This gradual approach ensures your child experiences success and builds momentum toward staying in bed throughout the night.
Hang in There!
Sleep schedules and routines can be challenging for everyone involved. If your child is struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep, chances are you’re losing sleep too. Be patient with yourself and your child as you work through these challenges. Stay consistent with your routine and use reinforcement strategically to encourage positive changes.
For more tips on managing nighttime wake-ups or other sleep-related issues, stay tuned for the final installment of our sleep series: When It’s Hard to Stay Asleep. You can also sign up for our sleep workshop for additional guidance and support.
Ready to Get Started?
If you’re interested in learning more about how Graham Behavior Services can support your family with sleep routines or other behavioral challenges, contact us today! Discover more about our services and take the first step toward better nights—and brighter days—for your family.
By implementing these strategies and staying consistent, bedtime doesn’t have to be a battle. With patience and reinforcement, restful nights are within reach!
References
Cooper, J. O., Heron, T. E., & Heward, W. L. (2007). Applied behavior analysis.
Walker, H. M. & Buckley, N. K. (1968). The Use of Positive Reinforcement in Conditional Attending Behavior. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 1(3), 245-250.
