Talking to Children About Racism and Bias: A Guide for Parents

Discussing racism and prejudice with children is crucial for fostering a more inclusive society. Children are the agents for change that have the opportunity to do better than those that have come before. This guide will help parents navigate these important conversations effectively.

When to Start the Conversation

One of the largest misconceptions about talking to children about race and prejudice is that it is too early, or is primarily a conversation for adults. Children begin recognizing racial differences as early as 6 months old. By age 2.5, they develop in-group bias, and by 3 years old, they may show preferences for socially dominant groups. It’s essential to start these discussions early, but it’s never too late to begin.

The fact that children develop racial bias does not mean you, as a parent, have done anything wrong. Research shows that explicit teaching is not necessary for children to form biases, and these biases are not always reflective of parental views. Instead, societal and environmental factors play a significant role in shaping prejudices. Children absorb messages from their surroundings—such as the racial makeup of their neighborhoods, schools, and the media they consume.

The good news is that you have the power to influence their understanding by addressing these issues early. Starting these conversations when children are young can help counteract the biases they may unconsciously develop. However, if your children are older, it is never too late to begin. Taking action now is always a step in the right direction.

How to Initiate the Conversation

1. Use age-appropriate books and stories as conversation starters.
2. Encourage questions and provide honest answers.
3. Remain positive and engage with your child’s responses.
4. Be specific about inequality and societal issues.
5. Share personal experiences of addressing bias

Tips for Discussing Racism with Children:

1. Respond positively to your child’s comments, even if they seem inappropriate.
2. Engage them by asking why they said something, rather than immediately correcting them.
3. Explain how they can improve their understanding and behavior.
4. Share your own experiences with bias and how you’ve overcome them.
5. Be specific about inequality as a societal issue, not just individual flaws.

When choosing resources:

1. Avoid materials that portray racism as only historical.
2. Teach children to evaluate people beyond appearance.
3. Discuss similarities and differences between people.
4. Understand that these conversations are ongoing and require long-term commitment

Continuing the Conversation

• Model inclusive behavior for your children.
• Address bias and promote diversity in daily life.
• Expose children to diverse environments through:
  • Museum visits
  • Diverse media representation
  • Extracurricular activities with diverse groups

Resources for Further Learning

• Books: “Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves,” “A Kids Book About Racism“

• Websites: Raising Race Conscious Children, Teaching for Change, EmbraceRace, Learning For Justice

• Video: PBS: How to Talk to Kids About Race

• Other Resources: Lee & Low Books, Early Childhood Anti-Bias Education Booklists